the endless cycle of self-doubt

well we are getting closer people. my album has almost arrived. less than 2 weeks away.

the doubts are seeping in. years of my life poured into these songs, and tons of others that were rejected along the way. i had a weird moment last year when i was in japan. to be honest i think a bit of an identity crisis. maybe it’s because i’m getting older, or just been doing it for awhile, but i felt like i don’t really fit in. i’m not sure where i belong musically. i’m not sure who is my ilk. someone asked me once “who do you sound like?”

 i had no answer.

so this thought was troubling me a bit… but then it sort of dawned on me. why is that a bad thing? 

i never strived for that. i just want to create what interests me. i like mixing and mastering my own music. i like writing lyrics with my collaborators. i like making the visuals for my live show. i like editing and storyboarding my own music videos. i like stressing about what font to use for the intro credits for multiple days. i like pushing myself to learn creative things outside my comfort zone. i want to be a student for life. i love making music.

i hope this album sounds like me and no one else. that’s all i want.

-felix