inspiration, you mysterious fucker
I texted my manager at 9PM on friday night about a bunch of new music i was working on. I was excited. He said “loving this creative spurt. let’s go baby.” i just finished my album a couple months ago. that last 10% is always challenging. i think it’s challenging because i’m afraid that i won’t know what’s next. that i won’t be inspired again. so subconsciously i want to hold onto that last bit of juice from the current thing before it inevitably fades.
projects are a bit like a piece of fruit. you can’t release them right away while they’re still green, but then they ripen, and you have to set it free before it starts to rot. i was reading Charli XCX’s substack about the same topic . she says “After my previous album, brat, I had this feeling that I wouldn’t be able to make music anymore. When I vocalized this, George said “Yeah, but you always feel this way. We all do.”” this resonates. it does always feel this way after finishing something. but i mean if i zoom out, i’ve been making music for 17+ years. it always comes back. you just don’t really know how it’ll creep in (but it does.)
i guess as an artist i kind of see two modes. discovery and purpose. discovery mode feels like this listless thing where i’m searching for what’s exciting. i don’t really know /when/where/ or /how/ the next thing will hit. naming it out loud even feels scary, it puts an unnecessary pressure on the idea of actively seeking it out. personally i try to just break up the previous routine of my last creative cycle. the final months of my album were done via long days in my studio (mostly cuz i prefer my studio monitors to do final mix downs). now that that’s done i’m enjoying the freedom of writing in coffee shops (as i’m doing right now). a change of environment can sometimes be the simplest spark of seeing something new. i try to change my creative diet. i try to consume movies from directors that i’ve enjoyed but maybe have missed some of their iconic works. Punch Drunk Love (never saw it till now, definitely recommend), as well as new ones: Bugonia, Rental Family, One Battle After Another, and Weapons. i started watching the original Death Note (loving this). i’ve started consuming youtube vlogs of people’s lives in cities i’ve been to once or twice (there’s no talking in these, they’re weirdly calming). i’m not even sure why these are interesting to me yet.
i like walking around the city this time of year. i like the rain. there’s a gloom to it that i can romanticize if i frame it that way. i listen to albums i may have missed. this time of year is nice as some outlets list their fav albums of the year. i try to pick a couple from artists i’ve never heard of. i started thinking about my own city as a city i’m visiting rather than a city i live in. this has pushed me to try a bunch of different restaurants and cafes that i’ve always walked by but never been to. i believe that going to new places is a muscle we have to keep in practice.
maybe that’s 1 version of what creativity is: seeing the thing that’s right in front of you in a new light.
i’ve been messaging my musician friends who are working on their own projects and seeing what they’re up to. i feel fortunate to have surrounded myself with artists i look up to. through this we’ve started working on some things together. there’s a momentum there, one without the pressure of it being for a specific project. they wrote me back that i made them excited about some of the things that they were working on because of what i added. i think that’s my job as a producer. to show the artists that what they’ve made IS exciting. because i’m a fan. and because music is exciting. if you can find that passion over and over then you drift seamlessly into the next mode: the one with purpose.
go explore :)
-felix